You Shouldn't Write Off a Male Doula
I have been pondering on how to work this blog and say all the things the right way and speak eloquently about this but I’ve decided just to be me and lay it down.
I have had the most amazing privilege this year in training 25 FANTASTIC Doulas here in Denver. I feel that these folks are equipped with the skills and knowledge to go and conquer the world of doula-ing and do all the things birth and postpartum. I am their biggest cheerleader and supporter. What I LOVE the most is that 2 of these folks are men. These 2 doulas are the cream of the crop and talk about knowledge and skills, they have it.
So I want to show you why having a doula is about the skill set they bring, not their gender. OHHHHH… Yeah I said it.
Let’s take this apart for a minute here. When you’re choosing a physician, or a dentist, or OBGYN, Family Medicine doctor do you consider their speciality or their gender first? I know with all my personal care, I wanted the best, I wanted the surgeons that cut me open to do all the things my body needed to have done to be the best of the best, the cream of the crop. I wanted to be able to ask them a question and be answered in a respectful way. I wanted to feel heard, I wanted them to help me feel safe in my choices and to give me the information I needed to make the right decisions for my moment and for my body. Some of my providers were men, some were women. It was what I felt the safest with, for my moment.
Enter in the amazing Dudelas that we have trained. These are the kindest, most knowledgeable, safe, skilled and caring doulas I have had the privilege of working with.
I’ve noticed that these amazing skilled professionals are a bit nervous about taking the next steps in their new career, they’re concerned about how the world will accept them, how they will be seen and if anyone would want their care. The questions have come up asking if their services are only for the dad’s or the male gendered population? Would women feel comfortable in hiring them to support them through birth and postpartum. I was like ummm… yes I will! Then I realized that my pregnancy and postpartum days are a closed chapter of my life and that I can’t just go and get pregnant or adopt just to hire JD and Rich to make me feel safe, understood, supported or to make me some incredible meals in my first 40 days. I almost feel like I should hire them now as I am making a huge transition in my life to being a co-parent and living the mom life with teenagers. Is that a thing, the first 40 days through teenagers and major life transitions? I’m feeling an urge to make it a thing.
Honestly, truly seriously though, your decision on support should be with the person who makes you feel safe and can handle your questions, who can help you navigate through the process of pregnancy and postpartum, who can provide you with the space to be you and hold that space gently. Who can process with you the ideas you have and honestly help you to create a plan that is successful. Whether it’s about processing your placenta, creating a birth plan, planning support for your toddler while the new baby is coming, or teaching your partner the skills to support you with feeding, birth and parenting. If you want some folks that can do all the things and who know all the things, I know 28 of them, 2 of them happen to be some of the best male doulas in the world. So what’s stopping you, call and have JD support you through your placenta encapsulation and the first 40 days and then some overnights for sleep support. Or have Rich come by for a few hours and make a plan for your toddler to welcome a new baby into the family, or to show you how to do some newborn and infant massage, or perhaps you just need the laundry done and an ear to listen...He’s the guy. So clearly, I know a guy or 2 that can make your birth and postpartum journey amazing!!!